Sunday, January 19, 2014

Mistress

I think I miss having a mistress
This black widow sits inches from my lips
Mind catches flak as I reminisce
While mine mind refuses the past
The heart regrets that which hasn't lasted
Fault distributed and I try to shoulder it unrefuted
I've been dejected for loneliness, for wanting comfort selfishness
Then cherished unable to accept
Loving her first was dancing on the precipice of a cliff
Falling down it by night, come morn awakening again at the beginning
Cringeing at the cycles known, marked spoke by spoke
Releasing the broken hamster from the wheel to contemplate these choked on fears
Somehow stockholm syndrome had its appeal
By force I fled the cage when you found another marionette to take the stage
At first rage, then I saw the roles you played
So focused externally I didn't look within
Inside of me there sat such rejected melancholy I quarrelled internally
Me couldn't just be me I had to become an agent of a partners whim
Well it's good the bitch cut the strings
I was bewitched and suffering
Hard to believe, I nurtured the ivy that deprived me
Parasitic and entirely unrealistic
So much I almost miss it
After all these years you've become so simplistic
Lit the wick and kicked regrets to the sea
Remembering the you is an illusion made by me
Taught to strive for emotional simplicity
My oh me, what's simple really?
Her beautiful distraction could've killed me
Love is blind, always will be
20/20 has us all saying really, what's truly?
Now I take care of self in and out of health
I'd suggest the lesson flows downhill
Don't be a tool be the shed
Move forward and don't dread
Plant the seed and grow past these shallow needs
First and foremost give and receive
No person is worth being a hollow shell of these

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